Changing Perspectives

"Perspective is everything when you are experiencing the challenges of life."- Joni Eareckson Tada.

Hello, beautiful people that read this blog. How're you doing today? How's life? I hope everything's good. It certainly isn't as bad as usual for me these days, thankfully. Obviously, not everything is good, but then again, not everything is bad either. So it's kind of okay, really. There's still a lot of work to do, of course, but all in due time, I suppose.

Anyway, now that we're done with the catching up, let's get to the obvious point of this post: changing perspectives. It's quite funny that I'm actually writing something like this, to be very honest. As we've established, I can be quite a negative person at times, where I give up easily, & think negatively about things.

Now, because of this negative thinking, whatever I say comes out as negative, & rather whiny, & annoyingly irritating. However, I didn't actually fully realize this fact before, that whatever I say in that state of mind, is actually very irritating.

I've addressed this being negative thing before on here. It has changed from time to time; different things & different circumstances have made me think differently than just being negative. This particular incident that happened to me in the middle of this week was another one of those situations, where I could actually see exactly what people feel & see when I'm being super pessimistic & negative.

I understood, once again, what it feels like to be on the other end of it, to be on the receiving end of it. It's definitely not very pleasant.

So, rewind to this past Tuesday. I'd just finished with one of my classes, just one of the many that I do not like; I'd had a pretty crappy quiz for that class, & obviously it hadn't gone smoothly. I was a bit miffed, but not too much still.

I'd genuinely had a rather tiring, less-than-good day, & I wasn't in the best of moods either, but I was still surviving, still going on, or at least, trying my best to. I was done for the day after this last class, & I was going to be leaving for home soon. So, after class, I spoke with this person, whose profession, nor name, will I disclose, for obvious reasons. I just saw them after class, & I struck up a conversation with them.

When I asked how this person was doing, they told me they weren't doing that well. This obviously leads me to ask them why this was, & they answered with the reason why. To try to cheer them up, I said: "Well, you know, maybe if you think more positively, think of yourself as a superhero that can do all the work by themselves & not need anyone else, maybe that would help.". I thought that would, you know, kind of cheer them up, make them smile. Nope. It only generated an exasperated sigh & an "Okay, miss." that kind of put me off.

See, I'm no one to judge them, or anyone else, for that matter. And I'm not judging them either, just so it's clear. I'm not. What I am doing, however, is relating that incident to me & my life. Apart from the obvious reason of me not judging them, another reason why I can't do that is because at some point or another, in my life, I've had the exact same reaction to different things in life.

I mean, how many times have I done the exact same thing, said the exact same thing? I know I have. How many times have we all? I've complained & whined about different things to different people. I've given up hope, I've straight up given up multiple times, countless times.

But to see it from a different perspective, to be at the receiving end of it; it was definitely eye-opening. It forced me to see exactly how others saw me, every time I spoke negatively, every time I became negative. I saw this person how others see me when I do the same thing as this person did. And boy oh boy, was it an unpleasant sight & an unpleasant feeling. It kind of shocked me, to be honest. I didn't expect it to hit me as hard as it did. I didn't think it would make me feel like it did.

That particular experience really got my mind working. My mind went into overdrive, as I thought about what had just happened, all the way home. The one thing that I kept coming back to was the question, do I really sound like that? Is that what I do, give out such terribly negative vibes? Why? How? I'm not always like that, am I? I don't always make such a mess, I don't always sound like that, do I? Has this been the reason why people have been wary of me? Am I really like that?

Is that what happens when you put someone, somewhere they're clearly unhappy being? They are so miserable all the time, that they begin to resent everything? Every aspect of the job, of the place? Is that the reason why they say to never do something that makes you unhappy? Do I radiate waves of unhappiness, all the time? Have I been doing this the whole time? Was it a conscious decision, did I start being this way on purpose?

All of these questions. I still don't really have an answer for any of them. But I do think not all of them are true, because while I am pretty unhappy about this whole thing, I still have something I look forward to. I love being in my Leadership class. It makes me want to actually learn. I cherish the limited number of friendships I've made. And while I am miserable about being here, I'm not miserable about myself.

I am proud. I am proud of myself, because after speaking to multiple people, I've realized that the fact that I'm still here, that I'm still pushing forward, is something to be proud of. It's nothing special or new, but it takes courage to keep going. I apparently seem to have that courage still. No idea where it's coming from or where the hell did so much of it come from, but it's there nonetheless.

Mind you, however; no matter how proud I am, or how "courageous" I think I am, I still get upset about missing out on life, on family, on friends, on experiences. I absolutely hate the fact that I can't do what I want to do, I can't get out of the house, or spend time with friends or family when I want to, because there's always just so much to do. There's always, always something or the other to do. It upsets me, & it angers me.

However, as mentioned above, it is still of utmost importance to have varying perspectives on different things in life, at different points of life. Sure, you can't always be positive. You don't have to be; you're only human, & humans are not all made up of one emotion.

That's the beauty of human beings, I think. No matter what happens, we are all always going to have different perspectives about everything. As has been mentioned before on this blog, no two people will ever have the same reaction to something, & that is something that's just so amazing to me.

Sometimes, you have to look at things differently. You have to change your perspective, in order to move forward. See the bigger picture, see it differently. We, as human beings, have to be positive, alongside the negative. How you see difficult situations will affect how you react to them, how you get through them.

It's important to remember that there is good in everything. There is good in every person, in every situation. Maybe not something that's obvious, but it's still there, nevertheless. Maybe as a lesson, or maybe as a challenge; it is there. After-all, every cloud has a silver lining, right?

What do you see?