You Are Magic

Have you ever wondered, why people always have lists of what they would do if they had the chance to do it? If you ask them if you had one day to do whatever you wanted to do, to live however you wanted to, they always have these ideal things that they have obviously spent a lot of time on to think about & come up with. Why is that so?

Before certain things happened in my life, I used to wonder about this a lot. There was a time, where I thought the world was white & black. There was always an excuse for everything. Not a reason. An excuse. You say you want to do something, then why aren’t you doing it? Oh yeah, come up with another excuse, why don’t you. I was ignorant & stubborn (still am the latter one, though), & I refused to accept any excuses anybody would give me for not doing what they wanted to do. I thought it was as simple as that: you love something so much, then go pursue it. Go do it. You don’t have any excuse for not doing it, much less a reason. I believed, quite strongly too, in “Do what you love & you’ll never work a day in your life” & all. I genuinely believed in that so much that I thought that that would never happen to me. No way. I will never do something I didn’t want to do. Never do something I didn’t love with all my heart. Unfortunately, I was wrong.

I was wrong to judge people when they told me they couldn’t do what they loved. I was wrong to see the world in a strictly either/or perspective. I didn’t understand that the world is not confined to only two colours. I didn’t understand how you could waste your life being miserable & not doing anything to change it. I was wrong, & time has shown me this & made me realise it.

They say time heals all wounds. That is what I thought about people being miserable with what they did, with what they were stuck in. I thought time would heal them. If not heal, then at least make them become used to it. Once you become used to something, that thing becomes okay, right? You don’t mind it as much. Guess what? I was wrong about this too. Not only is the world not confined to only two colours, but also there isn’t always an explanation or a reason for things to be the way they are.

The world is made up of many more colours than just black & white. Things & people have reasons sometimes instead of just excuses. Not everyone sees the world the way you do. Not everybody has the same perspective as you. It is impossible for that to happen. No two people are ever truly alike (no, not even identical twins). Everybody is different, & so are their perspectives & reasons.

There’s this very beautiful concept that’s been repeated again & again in my Leadership class this semester (yes, I still have to do a separate blog post on it. I KNOW. I WILL.). My professor has repeated it over & over, since the beginning of the semester, & I love it. Just for a little background, we’re studying the different types of leadership approaches. He's said that by the end of the course, we as students, will have figured out what type of approach applies to each of us. There is one for everyone, he’s said, & we will all have one that we identify with. This itself is a beautiful thought, because it shows how different we, as human beings, are. How each person has their own individual personality & characteristics that sets them apart from everybody else. Like I always say, there is no you but you. Nobody can ever be you better than your own self.

But that’s not it. The one thing that he has repeated throughout the semester is the fact that no matter what, none of us students, & none of the approaches, are right or wrong. There IS no right or wrong. There's just different versions of one thing. Some people agree with one version, others agree with another. There's no right or wrong. Isn't that such a wonderful thought? Nobody is right, nobody is wrong, & so, nobody has the right to put another person down, just by saying "I was right & you were wrong.". I just wish more people would realise this as a reality too, instead of insisting, violently in some cases, that what they have said, the method they've used, is the only right one. People are made different, are born with different qualities & personalities. Any two people can think SIMILARLY, but not EXACTLY the same. A person that agrees with what you're saying does not say so because what you are saying is the only right thing, no. They agree because they, along with you, think that is right. It does not make it the ultimate universal truth. Know what I mean?

I hope what I said above makes sense, not just sound like mindless rambling. The whole point of relating the above story was, the fact that I used to judge people just because I thought they chose to stay that way, that they could have done something to change it, but they didn't. I thought the way I thought was right, & they were wrong. But guess what? That wasn't the case. I just didn't see things from their perspective. I didn't take into consideration the many factors that could have clearly been the reason for them to have not had the chance to do what they love.

As I said before, I was naïve & ignorant. I did not realise the enormity of it, did not see the "bigger picture", until something similar happened to me. Until I had to do something that I have absolutely no interest in, I absolutely hate, & no matter how much I work on it, I can't rise up above just average. It's something I just don't have in me. And I'm not going to lie, there have been countless times where I have put myself down, talked myself down, because of it, because of my inability to be good at it. I am someone that just HAS to be above average, or just straight up good at whatever I do, whatever I attempt. I can't be bad at something, over & over & over again. It makes me upset with myself, especially when I'm trying my hardest. I failed once in my life, just once. And that feeling that came with it, the guilt & embarrassment & shame, is something that I never, ever want to feel again in my life. That feeling is the reason why I have given up so many times & still gotten back up.

But there are some things that you just can NOT learn or practice or be good at. And that's okay. There are some traits (there's that god awful word again. Grr.) that people are just born with. That creative brain, that sharp eye for detail. I'm not saying I'm not creative, no. The fact that I can write all this without much difficulty, is proof of that. It took me a long, long time to come to terms with this, & to accept this. Like I said, I put myself down a lot, way more than is healthy. But that's okay. I'm learning to be gentler & kinder towards myself, like I am towards others. I AM creative, just in a different way.

Unfortunately, it is not the kind that works in the design field. I don't have the kind of creative brain & sharp eye for detail that is required to be a good Interior Designer. That sucks on a daily basis, but thinking of it as a component of a bigger picture, it's okay really. After all, what I am good at might be a different kind of creativity, but it still is a part of it, right? This in no way means that I have to give up writing, doing what I love. And that is exactly the point of this long, drawn-out blog post. You may not get to do what you love on a daily basis. Hell, you might absolutely HATE what you do, what you put countless hours of work into, you might be so desperately miserable about it. And while that is okay, what is not okay is giving up on what you love, no matter what.

I have made up a lot of excuses, given a lot of excuses to not do this, to not write, while still claiming to have an almost desperate, undying love for it. I will not deny that. I can't. They have ranged from "I'm not good at it" to "Nobody reads it, nobody wants to, nobody cares" to "I don't have the time.". Trust me, I have. Ask anybody I'm close with, or anybody I have trusted & opened up to, & they will tell you all about how there's no bigger truth than how many excuses I've made. Doing that has hurt no one but me. It has affected no one but me. But this time, I have made the conscious decision of writing more, of doing what I love more instead of being miserable about doing what I hate.

So go on & do more of what you love. Show the world what you ARE good at instead of dwelling about what you're not so good at. Don't do it to please people, no. Do it because YOU love it. Do it because YOU want to. Don't wait for someone to validate it. Don't wait for the approval, the views, the reads. Do it because you have a passion for it. It is a universal rule, you can not please everyone. You never will. Don't care about what others think; care about what YOU think. After-all, there is nobody else like you in the whole wide world. The kind of magic you are, nobody else can be like that. You were born different, accept this wonderful fact, embrace your uniqueness & individuality, & be proud of who you are. Be proud of the inimitability you have brought to the world. Show it off & don't be afraid of the difference of opinions that may occur. After-all, everybody is different too.

As an ending to this super long & drawn-out post, I would just like to really, really thank the selective number of people in my life, no matter their role, that have made me realise something as important as being proud of what I am blessed with. My family, my closest friends, & certain teachers of mine. I hope if any of them ever stumble upon this post, they will know I mean them. Thank you, for talking to me when I really needed it, & thank you for listening when I really needed to be heard. You have made my life a little better, a little brighter, just by doing those two things. I will forever remember & cherish your words. They mean a lot to me. Thank you. <3

You are magic. <3