Famous Last Words

Let me start this post off with a question: if you had a friend, a family member, an adored teacher, even a stranger that you saw every day & had grown accustomed to, & you knew you would never see them again, what would you say to them? The person you last spoke to; would you change what you last said to them if you knew you were never going to get the chance to speak with them ever again? Would you regret what you last said to them? Does thinking about it now make you regret what you said?

Imagine, there is someone that you really, really love. Or someone you are really fond of, & you are glad that they exist in your life. You think of something you have to say to them. Maybe recount something that happened to you today, or tell them about a song you heard that you would like them to listen to too. Maybe you want to tell them that you appreciate their existence in your life, appreciate all the things they have taught you, how much you value them. Anything.

But instead of telling them right then & there, you think "oh, I will tell them later, when I have the time", or "I will tell them tomorrow for sure". What happens if that tomorrow never comes for them? For you? What if instead of all these good things that you actually feel, you had an argument, a fight with them, & you said nasty, vicious things, & those were your last words to them?

Too often, we forget. We forget that these people around us, family, friends, acquaintances, strangers even; everybody is fighting an unknown battle. We forget, that they may not be telling us the whole truth when they say "It's fine, I'm fine". We forget, that human beings have a natural tendency to hide their emotions, so as not to "burden" others with them. Though we all do the exact same thing at one point or another, we still forget. We forget when it's not us. We forget it all, all too often.

Why do we not question it, show more concern than we do, when we KNOW that someone close to us is feeling a certain way? Why do we not push for more information, when we know they are not feeling well, be it emotionally or physically? Is it because it is more comfortable to accept the apparent truth? Even if we know it's technically a lie, a cover-up? Is it because it's easier to accept their lie than to press for the truth? I'm not limiting this post to depression, self-harm, or any mental illness. But that IS what compelled me to write this. A thought I had about a few days ago is what compelled me to write this.

A few days ago, I saw this status on Facebook that one of my friends had posted, & had asked for it to be reposted instead of shared. So I did that exactly. Now, I know what you must be thinking. What does that have to do with anything? Thing is, that status talked about suicide. The gist of it was how most people consider it a very cowardly thing to do, & how it actually isn't cowardly. It obviously had undertones of emotional appeal to it, like most things do to make them more appealing. Nonetheless, I reposted it because I agreed with what it said. I didn't make any changes to it, didn't add or give any context to what it was, nothing. I literally just copied it & posted it.

I did not expect anyone to think too much about it, or try to read between the lines, because frankly, at that point in time, there really was no underlying meaning to it. I didn't post it because I was feeling suicidal, I didn't post it because I was depressed. I put it up because I agreed with it, plain & simple. So I did not think that any of my friends or family would think too much about it. But guess what? Someone did. Someone cared enough to try & read between the lines. Someone cared enough to worry about me.

This person is one of my closest friends. An hour after I'd put the status up, my phone pinged with a Facebook message. I was out with my family at the time, & I wasn't feeling my best self either. So I took out my phone, & looked at the message. It simply said "Hera, I saw your status that you posted. Are you ok?". Not going to lie, the genuine concern in that simple text made me smile. I texted her back to tell her that I was okay, it was nothing to worry about, & that it meant a lot that she cared enough to ask me about it.

This was where I expected her to question me further, because of the "tone" of my message. It wasn't my usual self, so I thought she would pick up on it & question me about it. I wished she would. I really wanted to talk to someone, but because of the exact thing that I mentioned above, I did not want to bother anyone. I also didn't think anyone would understand me, but that didn't quell the need to speak to someone, anyone.

Sadly, she did not enquire further about it. & That is what made me think about this. It made me wonder about why we never question someone that we know has had incidents in the past, someone we know that struggles with different emotions. We know, we KNOW that things have turned bad for them before, we know they've struggled with simple, everyday things. We, as friends, as a family, know. Yet we never question it. Why? Why do we never question it? Why do we not show that we care, that we will listen, no matter what? Why do we not show that they can trust us? That we will be there for them? Why do we never reassure them?

How many suicide attempts, fatal or otherwise, could have been stopped, if only more people showed that they cared? How many people could have been saved, if we'd just been kinder? Not only suicide but how many homeless teens could have been saved? If we'd paid more attention to our words? Literally, just our words could have saved them. How we treated them could have saved them. Maybe they wouldn't have felt so irreparably broken inside. Maybe they would have tried a little more to come out of their protective shell & actually speak to us. Maybe that would have helped them.

Bottomline is, you never know how much what you say to someone, could mean to them. You never know if your harsh, angry words are the last thing they hear before they decide on a drastic, life-changing decision. Maybe if you had been nicer, if you had shown them that you really do appreciate their presence in your life on time, they would rethink their decision. Something as little as hearing them out could have changed their whole outlook on life. It could have made them want to keep on living, to keep going.

Your belief in them could have become their belief in themselves. You could have been their reason to live, just with a gesture as simple as you telling them that you believe in them, in their abilities. The fact that there exists someone that has faith in them, even when they have none in their own self, could be a huge deal for them. You never know.

Please be kind to everyone you meet, everyone you see. Don't turn away when they need you the most. Please, please don't do that. Question it. Question their cover-ups. Let them know that there is someone that is willing to question their cover-ups, because they care. Because they genuinely care about what happens to them. Because they matter. Make your last words to everyone you see kinder. Tell people you appreciate, you appreciate them. Tell people you love, you love them. Listen to everyone, listen to friends, family, acquaintance, listen to strangers. You might be the only person that does. Your one action can make their mind up. You might be the reason they decide to try one more day. You never know.

What would you say?