Kindness Like Confetti

Okay, so. There are going to be two posts, posted one day after the other, simply because I have some stuff that I'd like to write about. However, both the posts are going to be poles apart. One is being written because I've thought about it quite a bit for a few days now, & it simply won't get out of my head; the other, because it's just something that I feel like I need to write down, get it out of me & my head.

The second one is kind of like a coping mechanism or something. Also, I probably should mention that the second one will not be up to the usual positive, it's-going-to-be-alright vibe that this blog seems to have created & has been functioning upon. That's not something bad; just something more real, & something that obviously also exists along with all the positivity this blog has been about so far. It's just real life, I guess.

But anyway, I'm going to start off with the usual, positive, think-about-it blog post, that is probably going to be similar to the other posts on here. This one is more about kindness, about being a good person, about wanting to be a good person, wanting to do good things, etc. That want that comes from within us, & how it's something that can't be learnt or taught. Sure, you can inspire & motivate people to be good, but if a person doesn't want it, you can't really do anything to change that.

So as always, as is the norm here on this blog, I'm going to give a little background story first, as to what inspired this post. Also as previous posts, obviously it was something that happened in my Leadership class. People that, by some miracle, have been keeping up with my blog, will know by now, that my Leadership class is a recurring theme, & a recurring backdrop for like, 90% of my posts.

This is not only because I absolutely love that class, but also because that class is the only one where I feel truly inspired by different things. I feel inspired enough to make a mental note to write about something that happened or something that was said; things that make me think, that genuinely open up my mind to learning & seeing things from a different perspective, rather than mine.

I genuinely love that class, & everything to do with it. It makes me want to actually learn things, & not only half-ass it all. It's amazing, & it's genuinely the only thing that's made me keep going still. (More on that in the second, less-positive post.)

So anyway. We just started studying about Transformational Leadership, & so, obviously, this particular class was all about that & its introduction. (Side note: I've got on a playlist of my favourite songs, [Atif Aslam anyone? <3 ] & now I'm feeling suuuuper chilled & sleepy. Also worth it to mention that it's 7 a.m. on a Saturday morning. Must. Fight. Through. This. Hera. >.<)

So our professor was telling us all about how it's important to connect with the people, & how it must be genuine & must come straight from the heart, for this leadership approach to actually work. He also spoke about how it's important, but difficult, to "remove yourself from the equation" , & to think selflessly. It has to be genuine. Now, obviously, this attracted my attention enough to think more about it.

I've always been someone that has valued genuine kindness in people, above anything else. It does not matter to me, how intelligent you are, how well-spoken you are, how attractive you are. What has always, always mattered the most to me, is how a person treats others; what level of kindness they exhibit towards people that mean absolutely nothing to them.

I always tend to notice how a person interacts with others; their mannerisms, their way of speaking to the other person, how willing they are to help someone, & things like that. I've always held kindness of people in the highest regard, always above everything else, because it has always mattered the most to me.

I've always tried to be my nicest, kindest self towards everyone I meet, no matter what. I've said this before, & I'll say it again: you never know what battles others are fighting. Maybe you're the only person that has smiled towards them that day. Maybe you're the only one that has bothered to ask how they are, or how their day has been. You never, ever know.

One kind act from you might change their whole outlook towards life. One kind act, & you may be the reason why they did not give up that day, that week, that month, that year. Wouldn't that make you feel so, so, so nice? To know that YOU did that? You saved a life, just by being kind, just by showing kindness. You saved all of the humanity.

I've had people be kind to me when I've needed it the most. They've not known that fact, that I needed it at the time. They were just being kind because that's the kind of person they are, or they want to be. I can't lie & say that did not change my mind from making a bad decision. In fact, I'll be honest. I was in a very, very bad place this past Wednesday afternoon.

I'd had an exam, & after working my butt off for weeks, trying to perfect everything, losing sleep, barely eating, it turned out that everything I'd done was wrong, & I was also told that it wasn't good enough. Again. For another, countless time in my 3 years of uni. So I guess you can imagine how devastated & frustrated I was. I was genuinely heartbroken, & upset. I couldn't stop crying my eyes out, & it was genuinely difficult to keep the tears at bay. It broke me. It genuinely broke me; it broke my spirit, that I'd held onto for so long.

So, due to all this, I was in a very bad, albeit very familiar, place. It wasn't very pretty, but it was awfully familiar. My brain & I, we've spent quite some time in this bad place, unfortunately. So naturally, it was very easy to slip into it, & to let go of everything else. To let go of logic & rationale, & to just succumb to it, because that was easier than to try & fight it.

If you've suffered from, I don't know, depression, or dark, unhealthy thoughts stemming from depression &/or anxiety, then you know what I mean when I say it is easier to let go than to fight it. It takes a lot of energy to fight it, & if, like me that day, you have zero energy left, then, unfortunately, it's very easy for those feelings & thoughts to take over, to consume you.

That's exactly what happened to me the other day, everything I just mentioned above. However, the only reason that kept me going, that has kept me here, that fought back those feelings & thoughts, is the kindness that someone showed towards me weeks ago. The things they've said to me, over the time period of our various meetings, is what held onto me.

That is what kept me sane, what kept me going, even when I had every last reason to give up & to give in. And for this kindness, I will forever be grateful to this person. Because truly, I know, in my heart, that if it wasn't for their words, & what they've said to me, I would not be here today, writing this down. Plain & simple. I would have given up in the worst way possible. But because of their kindness, their kind words, I didn't.

There are people that just inspire you to do good, to be kinder, just by being the way they are. Just because they are good, kind people, they make you want to be that way too. This person that I spoke about, they have inspired me to be better. THAT is the kind of person I want to be. THAT is what I aspire to be. I know I'm a generally kind person, but to be that considerate, THAT is what I want to be. I will never, ever be able to forget this person's kindness. Not only this one person, but all those people that I've met through various stages of my life that have shown kindness to me, be it on a large scale with big consequences, or just general, everyday kindness. I will forever be grateful to all these people, because they have inspired me, in their own way, to be a better person. To be a better, kinder person.

I hope this inspires more people to be like this, to think like this, too. To be nicer, kinder, better.

One of my all-time favourite quotes. <3